Shower Thoughts: Are Dating Apps Distracting Us From Dating?


When it comes to matching-up with someone on a dating app, it’s that little ego boost that keeps the app on your phone, though most likely hidden within the depths of some folder on a second or third page. (Because even though everyone’s using it, you’re not as keen to sharing as you probably could be now that apps are far less taboo than they used to be.)

Anyway, you’ll talk to a few people here and there, but you’ll ultimately pick a favorite. This person will have the same last name in your contacts as whoever else you deem worthy enough of your phone number, and that name will be “Tinder.” I mean, how else would you be able to distinguish real people from Tinder people? It is through labels that we’re even able to make sense of the myriad of relationships we’re managing regularly, right?

Your favorite will eventually be the reason you smile like a lunatic when your phone lights up on a random Tuesday. Eventually you’ll meet up, and you’ll hope to God they look like their pictures, and not like their pictures aged at least 10 years and…oh, surprise! they also have many children. So just in case, you make sure that you have a backup. You open the app. Swipe right. Swipe right. Swipe right.

Begin date.

*Hmm, not as tall as I imagined he’d be.*

*That laugh. What is that laugh?*

*There’s a show on tonight that I’m missing. I don’t know what it is, but I wish I could be watching it.*

*Good thing I swiped right on someone else 30 minutes ago.*

How quick we become at picking out flaws, when we know full well that there are others next in line. It’s as simple as opening up the app again, and tilting your phone ever-so-slightly, so as to avoid having anyone notice what it is you’re doing.

Millennials take a bad rap for being “too” option-hungry. We’re known to crave this unlimited amount of possibilities; and personally, I have to guess that it’s because we find comfort and security in that grey area that gives us room to make mistakes, all while seeking new opportunity. After a while though of swimming through the uncertain, we come to realize that all we’ve been doing is avoiding seemingly permanent decision-making that really ISN’T so permanent. Are we a generation of commitment-phobes, or are we too distracted by the grey area we’re so lucky to have?

It’s hard to focus our attention on just one person without having a flaw-radar whip out at the first thought that there’s someone else we could be sitting across from.

The game-fied casual flirting app is fun, and with the right intentions can lead to long-lasting relationships. Really, it’s happened! But if that is your end goal and you’re not giving the person in front of you a fair enough chance, you will wind up just as single as you started out as.